MMM 031: Mindsets and Misconceptions About Business Networking with Chas Wilson

Not having sustainable and well-founded networking relationships is a root cause of many business failures. Today, Arlene talks to Chas Wilson, CEO of Master Networks about the mindsets and misconceptions in business networking. Chas sheds light on the common conversational mistakes that entrepreneurs commit and how to make a more successful impact on networking relationships. He gives tips and pointers on prospecting and networking. Chas also discusses the BOND Method and how it can help lead the conversation and help create a level of comfort with prospective clients who will enjoy a conversational exchange. Today we will hear a demonstration of how to execute the BOND Method, too. Chas adds more to our bundle of golden nuggets by revealing how to create real opportunities and make it mutually beneficial. Doing things right is not enough. Timing and other factors are essential to ensure success. Tune in and become the next Master Networker!

“All of us are just one networking relationship away from changing our business future.” -Chas Wilson

Highlights:

02:29 Why Businesses Fail
04:28 Prospecting and Networking
08:07 Master Networks
12:16 Create A B-O-N-D
16:12 How To Implement The BOND Method Naturally- A Demo
24:00 When To Develop Real Opportunity
30:24 Get Over Being “Shy” Or Not
33:02 How To Be A Better At Networking

Resources:

Book

Be better at networking! Join in as @arlene_gale and @ChasWilson_CEO demonstrate how to effectively and naturally strike a conversation. #BookWritingBusiness #BusinessBuildingBooks #prospecting #networking #BOND #relationships #ask #beintentional Click To Tweet

Quotes:

00:57 “Whatever you’re trying to do in your small business, you’ve got to network. People are not going to find you if you don’t put yourself out there. And if they do find you, you’re lucky, but eventually, that luck’s going to run out.” -Arlene Gale

03:15 “You can do the right thing in the wrong order and put yourself out of business.” -Chas Wilson

07:25 “What’s important in life is to understand we are all just one relationship away from changing our future.” -Chas Wilson

12:03 “We don’t know what we don’t know until we know we don’t know it.” -Arlene Gale

13:52 “Ask. Because when you do that, it puts people in your path.” -Chas Wilson

22:21 “If you wait, it’s too late.” -Arlene Gale

27:27 “If you waste your time dating the wrong person, then you’re NOT going to have the time or energy to date the right person.” -Arlene Gale

33:58 “Be intentional about WHO you connect with. It’s the ‘who’ that will change everything, not the next tactic that you deploy.” -Chas Wilson

Connect with Chas:

Chas Wilson works with entrepreneurs on a local level, educating them, equipping them, and empowering them with the tools they need so they can leave a legacy beyond the business. He speaks to audiences nationwide, training them with the best models and methods to use to achieve success in their business. Chas believes that the failure rate for small businesses is unacceptable. His mission is to provide entrepreneurs with the support and the network they need to make their business more than just a means to make a living, he wants them to be able to leave a legacy. What they’re doing isn’t small, and it’s not about them, it’s about the people they can help, and he will help them get there.

Transcription:

Arlene Gale: Hi everybody, welcome back to Mindset Meets Mastery with Arlene Gale. So let’s talk about business networking. Okay, I will have to confess right at the top of the show that I have either made every mistake known to man when it comes to networking or I’ve had it done to me. Because network sometimes seems like one of those necessary evils when you’re trying to meet prospective clients, or joint venture partners, or whatever you’re trying to do in your small business, you got to network because people are not just going to find you if you don’t put yourself out there. And if they do, you’re lucky. And eventually, that lucks gonna run out, I’m just saying.

“Whatever you're trying to do in your small business, you’ve got to network. People are not going to find you if you don't put yourself out there. And if they do find you, you're lucky, but eventually, that luck's going to run out.” -Arlene Gale Click To Tweet

So my expert today is Chas Wilson, and he is the networking guru expert. He is going to set us straight on what we’re doing wrong, and how we can do things better. So Chas Wilson works with entrepreneurs on a local level, educating them, equipping them, and empowering them with the tools they need so that they can look toward leaving a legacy beyond the business. He speaks to audiences nationwide, training them with the best models and methods to use to achieve success in their business. Chas believes that the failure rate for small businesses is unacceptable. And his mission is to provide entrepreneurs with the support and the network they need to make their business more than just a means to make a living. He wants them to be able to leave a legacy. What they’re doing isn’t small and it’s not about them anyway, it’s about the people they can help, and he will help them to get to where they want to go.

So with that, help me welcome Chas Wilson. Thank you for being here today,

Chas Wilson: My honor, Arlene, thank you for inviting me to be with you.

Arlene Gale: Well, so let’s start with, in your bio you talk about so many small businesses failing. So what is the failure rate, and why do you think that that happens in the majority of cases?

Chas Wilson: Yeah, I wrote about this in my first book because I think that too many businesses fail, there’s all kinds of statistics, 8 out of 10 in the first 18 months. Many businesses, people get into business because they want more time, they want more money, they want the freedom, they want more money, and they have either, typically the businesses running them. When I say failure rate, you look at the statistics on that SBA website and some of the others about, the average you’d come up in entrepreneurs like 46,000 a year.

Arlene Gale: Wow.

Chas Wilson: So yeah, I mean, all this push to be an entrepreneur yet so many are failing. And I think it’s because in my opinion, they haven’t worked on their mindset, their skill set, and their networks enough that they do the right things in the right order. And that’s what I wrote about because I think you can do the right thing and do the wrong order and put yourself out of business. Just for 30 seconds, let me just tell you what I mean. So for instance, I think it, because I say that and people are like, what are you talking about? So I think what that means is that people can, like for example, marketing. Marketing’s very important, but early in an enterprise, in a venture, you should be prospecting first, meaning your own time, calling your contacts, reaching out to that because that takes time. It doesn’t take much money where, if you could put a lot of money into marketing that’s more passive, spend all your money and go out of business, if you will. So that’s why I say, is it the right thing to do? It is, but when is the right time? When you have the right message into the right audience and so forth. So that’s really what I mean. I think that’s why people go on to businesses, they try to do it by themselves and do it in the wrong order.

“You can do the right thing in the wrong order and put yourself out of business.” -Chas Wilson Click To Tweet

Arlene Gale: Yeah. Because there’s a lot of things in business that even if you look back and back up from where you’re talking about, so many businesses stop to think about who is your target market? What is the exact service that you can provide based on your expertise? And if they don’t answer those questions, then again, they’ve jumped in and done the right thing in the wrong order. So there’s a variety of layers to this, I really love that. So when you talk about prospecting, what do you mean?

Chas Wilson: I mean, it’s knocking on doors, or picking up the phone, and calling the people that you have in your database. In my book, in fact, let me just stretch over here hopefully it’ll not pull out my headphones. First book is called Five Plus One, and it’s five business disciplines, thinking, targeting, tracking, timing and team building. And I think when you identify who your target market is, that’s the second. And then it’s calling people in your database, reaching out to them, asking them to do business with you or who they know that could do business with you. I’ve spent the beginning of my career, I own some real estate companies in the past, sold those, and then started the Master Networks, which was a national networking organization. In fact, I am currently a partner of 32 companies. And I think in all of those what we’ve done is we started prospecting first. We put the money kind of low investment, and we just picked up the phone and started calling people, calling the people we know. Who do you know that needs this kind of service? Who do you know that could benefit this? And we would get leads back, and we’d sell one customer. We’d ask for five referrals that they do and we’d call those five people. To me, it’s not the fun work. Everyone wants to feel like, Oh, I ran this great Facebook Ad today and it’s converting this. Just pick up the phone and call people.

Arlene Gale: Absolutely. Well, and I think when you ask people that are new to business about their contacts, they kind of think, well, this is a new business, I don’t have any contacts. Well, the business may be new, but you’ve gone into business, you should have some expertise, which means therefore you should have some contacts.

Chas Wilson: Yeah, I mean for sure. And if you don’t know who your ideal customer is, or you don’t know how to connect with them, then go find the ideal connector who knows how to connect to that audience. So I give you an example, if I’m an insurance agent, I need to be connected with real estate agents because they have all these people that are buying homes that need property insurance, property casualty insurance, et cetera. If I’m a new chiropractor, maybe a massage therapist, a physical personal trainer, those would be the people that I should be connecting that could send me prospective clients.

Arlene Gale: So those kinds of partnerships are just tremendously valuable. So how are they going to meet that? Those kinds of people. And that brings us back around to networking, and why is that so important?

Chas Wilson: Networking is important because, first of all, here we are in this time right now where everyone’s isolating because we’re forced to, and I believe networks insulate you during times like this. Fortunately, I’ve had the last 10 years of building this massive network across the country, multiple States so it insulated me to some respect. But I think the thing that people want to look at is, think back in their life, I bet each of you, probably yourself as well, everything of significance in my life has come through a relationship. What boils down to what’s important in life? It’s always through relationships. My five children, my significant other, my businesses, my partnerships. So if we know that it’s relationships that are the key, I believe all of us are just one relationship away from changing our future. Well, if we know that to be true, then why and how can we be intentional? Be intentional about connecting with these folks. And the best way to do that is to jump into local business networking groups around the country, that’s why we started Master Networks because we just believe strongly in the power of building a strong network.

“What's important in life is to understand we are all just one relationship away from changing our future.” -Chas Wilson Click To Tweet

Arlene Gale: So tell me a little bit about Master Networks. Why did you start it? And where can we find them?

Chas Wilson: Yeah, so I started Master Networks in 2011 because I had just come out of that recession of owning and being highly leveraged in real estate and I was like, Oh, man. I just had our youngest two, which are twins. I was in a networking group for 10 years. And during that time, I had stepped aside to be with my family. One of my twins needed surgery, and shortly thereafter I remember going to my mailbox and getting a letter and it said basically: “Hey, you’ve missed a few meetings, part of this networking group, you’re out.” And that’s fine, those were the rules. But no one called me. No one said: “Hey, where have you been?” 10 years, I’ve been part of this group. When I realized pretty quickly that I needed something that was more relational and less transactional, something that we could build a foundation through education, and training, and building deep relationships. So I just started my own group and I created some core values and some different components to it. And it took off Arlene, people were so attracted to it. The education piece, and then a second group, and a third group, and then somebody in a different state, one and two. Pretty soon I was like, I actually think this is a business I need to pay attention to. So I jumped in full time and started running that, now we’re in 26 States and growing chapters all over. Yeah. So people can learn about it at masternetworks.com, find a chapter, start a chapter, connect with our members anywhere in the country.

Arlene Gale: So let’s talk about networking and building relationships. Because one of my biggest pet peeves is to walk into a room, and before I get 10 feet into the room, I’m going to say, don’t you, it’s like playing cards with a group of people you’ve never met before. Barely any eye contact, and if there is eye contact, it’s like, let me tell you who I am and what I can do for you. So am I crazy? Am I the only one that gets annoyed by that?

Chas Wilson: Well, I mean, think about our world right now. I mean, even dating’s like that. You can just swipe left, swipe right. Like, yeah, I mean, you can just be on an app and swipe, swipe. So people are making these informed decisions really quick. When I go to those, my take has always served me well. If I go to an event like that, I usually connect with two, maybe three people. I just spend the time with them pretty quickly and then I’ll go back again and I’ll meet new people. But you’re 100% correct, I think most people, what they value is their time and building deep relationships. And that just comes through time. A couple of years ago when we started Master Networks, I had been invited to this lunch with this young man who was a banker, one in our business, he just kept calling, prospecting me and my assistants like: “Would you just take this guy to lunch? He’s not going to stop calling.” So we go to lunch, and we go to this Mexican place and while we’re there, it’s not going well from the time we walk in. He’s telling me all about his cars and how much he loves cars, and the thing about me is I’m not a car guy and I just don’t care for cars. He’s talking, he spills hot sauce on me, it’s not a good lunch. It’s one of those lines like, how fast can I get outta here? Yeah, so we get up to walk out and he says those magic words like, we should do this again sometime. And I’m like, no, I’m frustrated, I’m upset, I got stuff on me, get in the car and I’m driving back. And I remember this moment, I’m thinking this really isn’t his fault. He’s young, he’s new, his manager probably said, you need to go network. He doesn’t really know what that means so he’s just making it up. And that was the day we developed what we do. We actually put it to paper, and it’s an acronym we call BOND. How do you create a bond?

Arlene Gale: Yeah. I love that. I love that. That was one of my questions I was going to ask you because if nobody’s taught you that you should care about the interaction, I mean, how hard would it have been for him to say, are you interested in cars? How hard I mean, but if you don’t know, you don’t know. So we don’t know what we don’t know until we know we don’t know it. Does that make sense?

“We don't know what we don't know until we know we don't know it.” -Arlene Gale Click To Tweet

Chas Wilson: That’s true. Yeah. We go into that piece too about unconscious/conscious awareness like all that. But here’s the points–

Arlene Gale: It tells us about bond. Yes, it’s amazing.

Chas Wilson: So BOND is built on a common interest, that’s the first thing. And you actually did that with me, you and I did that as soon as I hopped on, right? It’s like, who do we know in common, and what’s/where do you live? What’s the weather like there? It can be that simple. People over-complicate this. It can be as simple as the easiest connections possible. Hey, I see a bunch of books behind you, what do you like to read? Build on something in common. That’s a skill set. I believe this is a skill, learning how to network. So let’s build on common interests. The O is occupation exploration. Meaning, okay, now that we’ve built a foundation, and you really shouldn’t rush through that piece, because that’s where the foundation is. But once you’ve built on that, then you say, well great, tell me about what you do. How did you get started? Where are you going with this? And et cetera, et cetera. Then the N is needs discovery. What do you need? Who are you looking for? How can I help? All of that kind of stuff. And the power of your answers and the power of the question, and I’m just doing high level with you right here. And then the D is develop opportunities. And if there’s opportunities, let’s develop those. And by the way, Arlene, there may be an opportunity for you, and I or it might be something you need, and I know who to connect you to.

Arlene Gale: Absolutely. That’s how I got connected to you. My good friend Ursula, I said: “Hey, I listened to this podcast with Chas and I really liked him. I liked what he said, and I’d like to meet him.” And she sent us an email, I mean–

Chas Wilson: That’s it. But here’s the thing, and my good friend Mark Victor Hansen who wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul, you did something he’s writing about, his new book is called “Ask!”. And the key is, and this happens in networking too, is you’ve got Ask!, Ask yourself great questions, ask the creator questions, and then ask others as well. Because when you do that, it puts people in your path. I mean, I’ve been connected to some of the most amazing world renowned experts and so forth that I never thought I would ever connect with, let alone do life with. Because I asked, I’m connecting to a lot of people and it’s amazing how that can happen. For me, that happened more times than I can count.

“Ask. Because when you do that, it puts people in your path.” -Chas Wilson Click To Tweet

Arlene Gale: Absolutely. It’s a give and take. Again, we go back to that relationship part. So we’re going to take a quick break here. So don’t go anywhere. We’re going to come back with Chas, and I want to explore the bond process a little bit more. And maybe we could do a practice dialogue, we were meeting for the first time so people can get a feel for how networking may be so different from what they think of when they think of networking. We’ll be right.

Welcome back everybody to Mindset Meets Mastery with Arlene Gale. And my special guest today is Chas Wilson and he knows networking. He has put his wisdom into building a networking empire, I’ll call it, with various chapters, and he’s actually developed a method called the Bond Method. So let’s go in and maybe take a little bit of deeper dive on the Bond Method. If I’m hearing you correctly, it’s built on something that you have in common, and then occupation, exploration, and then a needs discovery, what do you need that I can help you with? And if I can’t help you, somebody else I know can. And then developing opportunities for each other. Am I getting that right?

Chas Wilson: You’re right on it. You and I meeting today, one of the things I would start with is, you mentioned that Ursula, you friends with Ursula, you saw her on my podcast, et cetera. So I would start with something like, how do you know her? So then how did you connect with her? You want to role play that?

Arlene Gale: Sure. I was at another event where she was speaking and I like what she had to say, and she’s a sales expert, and I know very little about sales. So I just went up and struck up a conversation and said: “I enjoyed what you had to say and I learned some things. So thank you for sharing your time here.” And then she said: “Well, thank you for thanking me.” Then we started talking and she invited me to be on her podcast, and I invited her to be on my podcast. And our relationship has just grown based on what each of us does. And in that two or three minute conversation, we got a clear perspective of what each of us does and how we could work together.

Chas Wilson: Wow, that’s amazing. Yeah, she’s a fantastic person, and I’ve really grown to admire her, and we’re building a strong friendship as well. I noticed by the way in your bio that you’re from the North Texas area as well as I. Where are you at? It says you’re in North Texas with your husband, sons, sheep, chickens, donkeys and a dog. Tell me about that. I don’t know that we have all that in common, but I’d love to know more about it.

Arlene Gale: Well, I live in the rural area West of Fort Worth. If people know this area, it’s on the way to Weatherford, it’s the next bigger town outside of Fort Worth. And when I started my husband like 40 years ago, one of the things we had in common is we both wanted to have land so we could teach our children how to respect animals, and take care of the land, and nurture that part of what we’ve been given as our part of the responsibilities. So we found this piece of land, and I homeschooled, which you know before it was required like we have now. And with my oldest son, one of the things I made him do made him do because I was a mean mom and a mean teacher, was to find some sort of a home based business that he could do. And he decided he wanted to raise chickens and sell the eggs, so we’ve been doing that ever since. I mean, you live in town?

Chas Wilson: Yeah, we live in town and I’ve got five children, which we’re now becoming homeschoolers with this isolation thing that’s just a whole new challenge.

Arlene Gale: Absolutely. Yeah. So have your children ever seen different colored eggs?

Chas Wilson: I mean, I don’t know if they have, I know I have, but I don’t know if they have. That’s a good question.

Arlene Gale: Yeah. So that’s one of the things that’s neat about where we live and how we’re different, but we’re still the same. I mean, I’ve got two boys. Your children are boys and girls?

Chas Wilson: Have four boys and a girl.

Arlene Gale: Four boys and a girl.

Chas Wilson: Arlene, let me just step out of this for a second and just demonstrate a couple of key points because you’re obviously very skilled at this. Because one thing, I hope those who are listening are really paying attention to a couple of things because we’re still in that beat on a common interest. And there’s two things that I don’t know, at least that jump out to me and I’ve done this thousands of times. I don’t know if people will notice this if they go back and watch, when I started asking you about some of the things you had and where you lived and all that stuff, your energy lit up. Not that it wasn’t before, but people enjoy being able to tell their story and talk about their experiences. We’re networking doesn’t work when they make it all about themselves. But as soon as I started asking you questions and you could dive deep into your background, and your family, and so forth, the things that are important to you, I imagine like a boom light up. But then the skill is you have to be careful not to stay on that too long so you quickly switch and ask me questions. I hope those listening understand that is the power of that B part of building on that common interest. Now, for purposes of time, we’ll move into the O piece, but you really don’t want to, you can, that’s the benefit of bondage. You could literally go from B to D in two minutes or two hours depending on the time that you have and you can fluctuate that. So if I were moving into that, I would say, well, there’s another thing, Arlene, I noticed that I’m learning a little bit about you, but I see all these books behind you. So it’s either you love to read, number one, which you probably do, or you help people write books. Tell me about what you do?

Arlene Gale: Well, both, because I think to be a good writer, you have to be a reader. But I help people take their personal or professional story and turn it into a book that will help them build business. So that’s what I do. So the books that you see back here are my books as well as books that I’ve helped co-author and some of my client’s books. So that’s what you’re seeing. You’ve written a couple books, so you know that the process, did you feel like the process was kind of isolating and it took a while, you gotta make time and all that kind of stuff?

Chas Wilson: Yeah, I’m in my third book right now and that’s what I feel like, I’ve been working on it for a year, little over probably a year and a half in this time that I’m at home now. It’s a Latino forced me to focus more and get it done. But yeah, so how do you help people in that? Someone like me who’s either thinking about it or who’s writing the book, what do you do exactly to help them through it?

Arlene Gale: Well, if they’ve written several books, but those books didn’t give them any kind of return on investment, we examine why. Because my whole goal is not to just help you be a published author, but to help you publish a book that’s going to build your credibility and helps you get more clients. So if you’re a speaker versus a life coach or a business coach, we have to understand what you want to do with the book, because the content is going to change based on what business you want. So that’s kind of what I do is help them. So many people write a book and publish it without thinking about how they’re going to use it, and they wait to publish it and then they go, Hmm, now what can I do? Well, my motto is if you wait, it’s too late.

“If you wait, it's too late.” -Arlene Gale Click To Tweet

Chas Wilson: That’s it. That’s so true. So who’s ideal for you? Who are you looking for to connect with right now?

Arlene Gale: Anybody who’s a speaker who wants more credibility in the speaking world, like I said, at a life coach or a business coach, anybody who’s in business has an expertise or you shouldn’t have gone into business, right? I mean, you know that, when you meet people who are networking with you, you want to know what they’re an expert in, right?

Chas Wilson: That’s exactly 100%. And I think the other thing is, so here’s where I would move from. In my case, I would move from O and D really quick, okay. And just because of this is legitimate, authentic, real for everyone watching this, right? So I’m writing my third book. I have talked to people who want to write books, but I need some help, I need some questions. I’m literally hoping this isn’t too loud, they’re here to rake my lawn right now while we’re doing this podcast. So when I’m at my main office, they always, every time I go live on my own show, they come out to the edge, the lot right next to the window every time.

Arlene Gale: Oh, life is grand, isn’t it?

Chas Wilson: So you moved from O and D because here’s the reality, I have people who need help writing a book and who want help writing a book. So where I would go, and again, when you understand bond, what I would do probably from this is to say, Hey, I have an idea that either I need to connect you with somebody or we need to have another call where I can talk through a couple of ideas I have of people I could connect you with and then I would set up that. I typically don’t try to develop the opportunity in that moment because there’s two reasons why, and I think this is a good skill for people to learn. Number one, you don’t want people to think like you were selling them something or trying to do something right there. And number two, I think it’s always good to step away from the conversation, regain your thoughts on where the real opportunity is for both of you and come back and have a meeting about it afterwards.

Arlene Gale: Exactly. Well, and when I went and said, tried to personalize your book writing experience and how so many people don’t want to write a book because it’s such an isolating experience with me as an accountability coach and helping them through the process, it makes it a little bit more fun. So what I try to do, I don’t know, you can tell me if it’s right or wrong, but to say something briefly, just kind of a 10,000 foot overview of what I do, and then turn it back to you and how you might respond in that situation with that expertise.

Chas Wilson: Such a great, and I think questions are powerful, but I hope that the audience can see how you could use BOND just really naturally. I have found over the years, and this is going to sound like it. I don’t mean it to be ego in any way, it’s just I haven’t been able to connect with billionaires, and millionaires, and massive business owners, and influencers, et cetera. And they always tell me the same thing, and it’s really easy to connect with you. I feel like I’ve known you for a while, some version of something like that. And I honestly believe it because with a framework of bond, I can be myself and I can just ask really, I can let curiosity lead the conversation because I know where I’m going. We’re not just having endless chatter that doesn’t go anywhere, I’m leading it somewhere. They don’t always know that, and they appreciate it because I can move that conversation forward.

Arlene Gale: Well, and I like what you said about me, I might not dive in and start giving referrals and things the first time we met because it starts to feel kind of salesy and forced. And I have so many people tell me, Oh, I’ve been to all of these networking meetings and I went once or twice, I just didn’t really connect with anybody so I stopped going. What is your response to that?

Chas Wilson: The relationships take time. I mean, people are people, you’re going to have some people you either connect with right away, you’re gonna have some that are like, sorry that just, and it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. There was somebody recently, I’ll just give you, I’m not going to say who, but really, really popular in the influencer, entrepreneur influencer space and they were on. I have a list called my top 100, these are people that I want to connect with and I keep a list. I don’t know who they are. I mean, I know who they are, but I’ve never talked to them. And then until I do, then they become on my top 20 lists. So this top 100 lists, I had this gentleman’s name on there, and someone knew him and said, Hey, I can connect, I can make it happen.

Arlene Gale: Wow.

Chas Wilson: So we did. And using bond, I started out, again, I don’t know if I caught him on a bad day. I don’t know, I don’t worry about it anymore. And probably early on, I did. But the reality is we just didn’t get very well. And that doesn’t make me better, or bad, or anything in between, we didn’t connect. Now, we might have another call set up for different reasons, but at least right now, it’s not there, and don’t force it. Just some people you’ll really connect and others you won’t. It’s okay.

Arlene Gale: Well, this is a bizarre comparison, but it’s kind of like dating. If you waste your time dating the wrong person, then you’re going to not have the time to date the right person. You started it, you started with the dating analogy.

“If you waste your time dating the wrong person, then you're NOT going to have the time or energy to date the right person.” -Arlene Gale Click To Tweet

Chas Wilson: It’s very true. You’re very right. Because if you have, I look at it this way, if I have this top 20 of people who are massively influential that I want to be around and have in my circle, somebody else has taken that seat at the table. If I only have so much capacity in my life so I can keep expanding it, and keep expanding it and I do, but right now I have a certain limit of capacity. And if somebody’s taken that scene to the table, I don’t have room for anyone else who’s really amazing that needs to be there. So yeah, I think you’re 100% correct.

Arlene Gale: Yeah. And I think that the other thing you touched on is people want to place blame or fault on why that connection didn’t happen. And I agree with you, I don’t think there’s a blame or a fault, it’s just that we are different human beings with different personalities and sometimes we mesh and sometimes we don’t. And that’s just the way life is. It’s not about right or wrong, it’s just different.

Chas Wilson: Agreed. I couldn’t agree more. I mean, it’s so true. There are times where I’ve gotten spoken for by audiences, and in the same, very same speech, I’ve had people come up and are like, Oh, my gosh, that’s amazing. And then other people like, I’m fine, I’m a jerk, I don’t really care.

Arlene Gale: I tell people: “When somebody says that to you, what you should do is not roll up your sleeves and get put up your dukes like you want it, those are fighting words. Instead, you should look them in the eye and say thank you because what they’ve done is giving you a big favor. They’ve done you a big favor because they’ve just now told you they’re not in your target market.” So that’s the way I look at it. All right, so tell people how they can find your networking group and connect with you, your website and social media.

Chas Wilson: Yeah. So if you go to masternetworks.com, you can search, we have a map function, you can search by all the chapters we have around the country. You can also find me on social media. You go to masternetworks/Chaswilson, all of our social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, all of that. You can find us there.

Arlene Gale: That’s cool. All right, so I’m going to put you on the hot seat. You ready?

Chas Wilson: I’m ready.

Arlene Gale: All right. So the podcast is called Mindset Meets Mastery. So before you got to the place of brilliance where you are now–

Chas Wilson: Oh, thank you.

Arlene Gale: Can you look back and think of what was one of the mindsets that you had to overcome back then to get where you are now?

Chas Wilson: So one of the mindsets, sorry, my dog is barking at the guy outside.

Arlene Gale: That’s okay.

Chas Wilson: One of the mindsets I had to get to now?

Arlene Gale: Something you had to get over, something you told yourself that made it hard to go out and do what you do now.

Chas Wilson: Well, so one of the things that I used to be really, really shy. And as a kid growing up, very shy, very quiet. And I remember one of my good mentors saying to me: “I had to get into a mindset of going that I had to be very public if I was going to take this company, this organization to help our members where it needed to.” And I remember one of the first times I got on stage, really scary. I mean, you still get anxious. I still get nervous. And that was a mindset that I had to get over, those fears to be where I am today.

Arlene Gale: And I don’t know, I mean, I’m more extroverted, and I love to meet people and get out. So my issue is, my mindset is a little different, I don’t have to tell everybody everything in the first two minutes, so I have to pull back. So I get that. So how did you get over being shy and just going ahead and getting on stage in front of people? What’s something you could tell people that they might try?

Chas Wilson: Yeah. What’s interesting is number one, not trying to be something I’m not, I still have that. I just accept it, but I think part of the mindset shift I had for me is that I think people try to put themselves in a box. Like I’m an introvert, an extrovert, and I just use it as an example. Like you were saying, I think though, to me, I had a mindset shift that I’m not sure it means exactly what we all think it means. And this is my example, I think you as an extrovert get energy being with people. So there’s people like this isolation thing, people are going nuts because I need people for energy. And then there’s, sometimes there’s people like me where I can be extroverted so people feel like, Oh, you’re lying, you’re very extroverted. I am, but I get energy when I can decompress and be by myself. So what I understood is that the labels that I’ve been placing on myself weren’t correct. Other people had expectations of me, if that makes sense. So I can go, yeah, I’m an introvert and an extrovert. I can be outgoing, but I get energy at times by being introverted.

Arlene Gale: Yes. And I think that is of the problems with mindsets is we put labels on things that don’t necessarily fit or don’t need to be that way. So anyway, Chas, one last thing, what is one golden nugget that you can toss at the listeners today that they can use to take with them to become a better networker?

Chas Wilson: Several things, but just really quickly. I would say number one, be intentional habit on your calendar about getting into networking organizations groups, whether it’s ours or others. Be intentional about it and put yourself in a place where those who you need to connect with, and I don’t just say want to, but need to, to take your life, your personal development, your business to a different level. You need to get into proximity with them. And there’s two ways I teach that you can do that. You can buy your way or earn your way. Sometimes you have to buy your way into somebody’s seminar like you did with Ursula, right? You’ve probably paid or went to, you got in proximity with her, and then as you built a relationship, you’ve earned that proximity with her. And sometimes it takes both. Many times it takes both. I’ve got great mentors who I bought their books, I’ve bought their courses, I’ve bought their stuff, and I’ve gotten into proximity with them, and now I’ve earned it through a relationship over time. And so that’s just what I would say. Just be intentional about who you connect with. It’s far more important right now. Who in your life than what you’re doing, the WHO will change everything. Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book, THE WHO.

“Be intentional about WHO you connect with. It’s the ‘who’ that will change everything, not the next tactic that you deploy.” -Chas Wilson Click To Tweet

Arlene Gale: I love it.

Chas Wilson: THE WHO is what will change everything, not the next tactic that you deploy. It’s WHO.

Arlene Gale: Absolutely. And in this time, connecting in whatever way we can, the way we’re connecting right now is so powerful. And just because we’re in isolation doesn’t mean that we can’t still connect.

Chas Wilson: Yes. And we just put out a thing today that says we don’t believe in social distancing. Physical distancing, yes, but not social distancing. We need to stay connected now more than ever. And insulating through networking, not isolating.

Arlene Gale: Ooh, I like that. That’s great wisdom to end this on. So Chas Wilson, please, your books are on Amazon, right?

Chas Wilson: They’re on Amazon or on my website. If you go to masternetworks.com, we have a store, you can click them and you get the audio, the digital, the hard copies, you can get all of it. And right now we’re offering them for $5 because we think that everyone just needs to have that stuff in their midst, and we’re wholesale costs everything.

Arlene Gale: That’s an amazing deal. That’s an amazing deal so thank you for that. I’m so glad that that came to me just in a flash right now so that you could make that information known. So Chas Wilson, thank you so much for your time, and it was a pleasure to get to know you a little bit better because this is really our first meeting. So going through the bond process that you’ve developed was a huge success. I would say from my perspective and my end of things. So thank you.

Chas Wilson: Thank you.

Arlene Gale: I want to end like I always end with my listeners taking hold of this idea. Do not let the world or anyone else dictate what you can or cannot do. What is possible is only limited by your imagination and by your creation. You get to choose. So choose to live your story everyday, then write it and see if we can use it to make the world a better place.