What feelings do the holidays evoke for you? Many people get super excited, even making plans way before the day. Yet, some find it hard to celebrate and even feel downhearted. Perhaps, the holidays bring back painful memories like the loss of a loved one, or being separated from the people they wish were there to celebrate with them. There are also family frictions, tensions, and differences that disrupt peace and rob off all the enjoyment. This week, Arlene and Dr. Kelly Holder talk about how you can celebrate the holidays without grief or shame. Kelly discusses how you can set up healthy boundaries, make room for differences, deal with grief, honor your loved ones who have died, and get closer with the people around you. If you’re torn between mourning a loss and celebrating life, know that these are not choices you have to pick from. They are instead, opportunities that you can take to learn how to be more human despite all the adversities. Listen in for awesome holiday ideas you can do this year to make this season more enjoyable and memorable!
“Pain, loss, and suffering is tied to our human existence. And yet, at the same time, we can experience joy and pleasure by figuring out what it means to be a human being in the face of all the things that we feel.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
Highlights:
00:50 Are You Ready For the Holidays?
07:10 What Makes a Holiday Hard to Celebrate
11:50 A Unique Holiday
17:27 How to Cope with Grief and Do Things Differently
27:57 How Asking For Help Improve Relationships
33:54 Mourning the Loss and Celebrating the Life
40:44 The Best Thing You Can Teach Your Kids
44:47 The Best Thing You Can Do for Yourself
49:30 The Better Way to See Other’s Opinion of You
54:25 Do One Thing at a Time
Today's big question: Are you ready for the holidays? If something’s holding you back from enjoying these occasions, tune in as @arlene_gale and @KellyDHolder share how you can create healthy boundaries, ease the tension, cope with the grief that… Click To Tweet
Quotes:
06:29 “Pain, loss, and suffering is tied to our human existence. And yet, at the same time, we can experience joy and pleasure by figuring out what it means to be a human being in the face of all the things that we feel.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
19:37 “Not only do we want to celebrate for ourselves but when we honor or celebrate others. It brings us joy, and it’s one way we can get outside ourselves.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
22:45 “Nobody gets to tell you how you feel. Hold on to that. Feel however you feel.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
23:30 “Take someone’s suggestions, try it out. But just because it doesn’t work doesn’t mean there’s no hope. That means you haven’t figured out what’s going to work well for you.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
29:06 “Some of us deprive ourselves of the good we could get in our relationships because we do not allow other people to help us. When we prevent people from helping us we are blocking them from getting closer to us and increasing our intimacy.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
33:01 “Our kids can come up with lovely ideas. And when they get to be part of the decision-making, it makes the time even more valuable for them.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
34:35 “Individuals who are going through grief and loss go back and forth between needing to grieve and needing to celebrate. But in our human experience, we need to do both.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
44:52 “It’s human to feel down. Learning how to tolerate that emotion in healthy ways is important. Reach out for help, talk to someone you trust, get the support that you need.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
48:03 “Little things are everything.” -Dr. Kelly Holder
Connect with Dr. Kelly:
Dr. Kelly Holder is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Instructor of Mental Health First Aid, and Director of the Office of Student Mental Health and Counselling at Penn State University. Dr. Holder brings years of experience in multiple clinical settings including community mental health, private practice, and college counseling. Her goal is to help others improve their well-being and quality of life. She emphasizes the power of making connections in overcoming mental illness, especially during critical times. When things are off-target, Dr. Holder can help bring back the motivation in you.