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When was the last time you had an overflow of emotions? Sometimes, we would rather hide from our emotions than face them head-on. Whatever the reason is, we must stop suppressing them right – now. Ilene Dillon, the “Emotional Pro,” discusses all things imaginable about emotion. She answers the question that has puzzled mankind for so long: “Why do we have emotions?” Knowing the answer to this perplexing piece of our self opens the door to the possibility of a happy and peaceful life. This episode will also clarify two opposing notions: positive versus negative emotions, and real versus synthetic emotions. Managing emotions is not always easy. Nevertheless, with understanding the fundamental concepts coupled with constant effort and unwavering determination, we can be “masters” of our emotions.

 

“You have just ‘right’ emotions for yourself.” -Ilene Dillon

 

Highlights:

00:28 Are You Giving Your Power Away? 
04:26 You Are “Right” Emotional for Yourself
07:04 Positive Emotion vs Negative Emotion
10:49 Complicated and Recurring Emotions
16:46 The Universal Cause of Anger
19:13 Real Emotions vs Synthetic Emotions
23:24 How to Redirect Emotions
25:45 Emotions as a Navigation System
31:08 Embrace Your Lessons

 

Resources

Book
Emotions in Motion- Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System by Ilene Dillon and Arlene Gale

[bctt tweet=”Listen to the message your emotions are telling you. Join @arlene_gale and @EmotionExpert as they navigate deeper on why we have emotions and how to master them. #emotions #anger #guiltandshame #should’s #experiences #lessons #navigationsystem #everythingwillworkout” username=””]

 

Quotes:

01:51 “If you’re waiting on someone else to make you feel your emotions or recover from them, there’s something missing in you, because it’s your power you’re giving away.”  -Arlene Gale

04:42 “If somebody tells you, ‘you’re too emotional,’ all they’re telling you is you are more emotional than they want you to be. But you’re just ‘right’ emotionally for yourself.” -Ilene Dillon 

07:15 “(Emotions) are gifts. They are tools that have been given to us to help us navigate the experiences of life.” -Ilene Dillon 

10:55 “What has complicated emotions for us is that we’ve been taught incorrect ways of working with them.” -Ilene Dillon 

12:56 “Emotions come from experience.” -Ilene Dillon 

19:27 “The difference between a real emotion and synthetic emotion is that real emotions have positive and negative aspects to them.”  -Ilene Dillon 

22:12 “Guilt freezes us in the past.”  -Ilene Dillon

29:31 “Other people’s actions or reactions are not about me and I don’t have to pick those up and own them — it’s about them.” -Arlene Gale

29:57 “Lessons are given to us so that we can learn them. And even if we learned them at the last day of our life… that still counts. Everything will work out.”  -Ilene Dillon

30:11 As soon as we learn our lessons, the happier we will be.”  -Arlene Gale

31:20 “Emotions are tools so that you can be successful in the work here hte Earth.”  -Ilene Dillon 

 

Meet Ilene:

Ilene Dillon is established as the “Emotional Pro.” She earned this reputation not simply because she mastered her own emotions but also because of her remarkable contributions around Emotional Mastery. She helps promote this advocacy as a Professional Speaker and through her 13-year internet broadcast. Recently, she also released her book, Emotions in Motion- Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System to help people identify and work with their emotions. 

Growing up, Ilene  carried on feelings of being abandoned and rejected. Today, she is proud to claim, she’s a “Recovered Angry Person.” Having served as a 50-year California Marriage and Family Therapist and an Emotional Literacy pioneer, Ilene brings to the table tested, enduring and effective system for working with emotions that will dramatically improve your life.

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Transcription:

Arlene Gale: Welcome. Today, we’re talking about myths and mindsets and the stories we tell ourselves about emotions. Now, you know that I’m involved in marketing and writing, that’s what I do for a living. And so, I know that words are very powerful. Words can be used to damage us or to lift us up. Words can be used to encourage or discourage, and the language around emotions follows the same rules. For example, in my life, I’ve been told: “You’re so emotional.” And that said as an insult, it’s not meant to be flattering at all. At least that’s the way I take it. How about this one? Try this one on. “I’m just an emotional wreck.” And I can only imagine that today’s guest is laughing at me because I used the state with her very recently. And sometimes I use that as an excuse, or maybe it’s just a warning to people around me that I’m a mess, don’t push my buttons. So, whatever the reason for using that statement. What about this? Have you ever heard or said this, “you make me so angry,” or “you make me so happy,” or that line from that famous movie of “you complete me.” Well, if you’re waiting on someone else to help you with those emotions or quote unquote make you feel those emotions, I just got to say that there’s something missing in you because it’s really your power that you’re giving away, I don’t know.

Let’s talk to my guests, my special guest, the expert on emotions and see if she thinks I’m crazy, or being too emotional, or what the deal is. And hopefully you’ll find some value in this process too of talking about emotions. So my special guest today is Ilene L. Dillon. She’s got a master’s in social work, but she’s also known as the EMOTIONAL PRO, and she’s helped the world develop emotional mastery now for five decades. She revolutionizes the way people work with emotion, changing their lives forever. She is an emotional literacy pioneer. She basically, I mean, she is the forerunner. She is holding that torch and begging us to follow along behind her because she is THE EXPERT, not just an expert, but THE EXPERT in emotions as far as I’m concerned with my work with her, that’s my belief system. Arlene, Ilene, I’m Arlene, she’s Ilene, has written manuals, I know. I’m so excited for parents, way back in 1994, where she was revealing for them why we have emotions? What those emotions are for? And how we work masterfully with emotions? And for parents, that’s so important because we’re impacting the next generation. She’s been a marriage and family therapist. She has been promoting Emotional Mastery internationally for more than 13 years on internet broadcast as a professional speaker, and she’s been featured on many podcasts, at many conferences, and online summits and masterminds. One of the key reasons I love Ilene is because she’s so open, and honest, and vulnerable, and an example of that is she’s a recovered angry person. I’m calling myself a recovering angry person, so she’s further along that journey than I am. But she walks her talk, she really does. And she’s got a new book coming out called Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System. And that’s being released very soon to, actually, I think tomorrow. But we’re going to talk more about that. Let me first welcome my special guest, Ilene L. Dillon to the podcast. Hi Ilene.

Ilene Dillon: Hello Arlene. And let me start off by telling you that people used to call me OVERLY emotional also. And I, after years of anguish over that, I discovered there is no such thing. If somebody tells you you’re too emotional or you’re overly emotional, all they’re really telling you is that you are more emotional than they want you to be. But you’re just right emotional for yourself.

Arlene Gale: Oh, well thank you for, I’m going to write that down, I’m just right emotionally for myself. Yeah, cause I always did think that maybe my emotions were inconvenient for them and it had very little to do with me.

Ilene Dillon: It’s my experience that that’s so, you know, the people that basically said that to me were wanting to push me down into a hole so they didn’t have to deal with what was going on with me.

Arlene Gale: And that’s about them, not you.

Ilene Dillon: Yeah.

Arlene Gale: We’ve only been doing this for about a minute and then we’ve already gotten that word of wisdom. But I want to step back, and I want you to SCHOOL US on emotions. And I use that phrase very, very specifically. What kind of information can you give us about the schooling of emotions?

Ilene Dillon: Thank you for helping me with that. Well, one of the things I want to say first is that a lot of people talk about emotions very intellectually, and they talk about brain research and so forth. And because I was a very angry person, I had a very practical need and that was to be able to do something so that I could not be run by anger anymore. So my approach is very practical. And in the 50 years that I’ve been a psychotherapist, I’ve shared what I learned for myself with my clients and found out that it works for a whole lot of people. So this is very practical, it’s not an intellectual. And so, tell me what your question was again, my brain went out.

Arlene Gale: It happens to all of us at one time or another. School, you know, you talk about emotion as a giant school.

Ilene Dillon: Well, actually, what has helped me in understanding what goes on in life is the idea that our earth is a big giant school, and we all come here in order to learn and grow, and we learn through the experiences that we have, and the experiences we have are always accompanied by emotions. So the emotions then, what are they for? That was a big question that nobody seemed to have the answer for. I went to university libraries and so forth. What I finally discovered is they are gifts. They are tools that have been given to us to help us navigate the experiences of life. Emotions are energy. Each emotion has a different energy pattern, which carries a different message. For example, love says come closer. Loneliness says you’ve got more energy going out than coming back in. Every emotion gives us a message. And once we learn that message and use it in dealing with the experiences we have, then we complete the learning and we can turn the emotion loose and move on. And the intensity of our emotional experiences starts dropping off dramatically.

Arlene Gale: Well, and that’s really interesting because it brings to mind some hope that, you know, I can release some of these negative emotions, but you have a different insight about negative emotions. Can you share that with us please?

Ilene Dillon: Yes. I used to talk about negative emotions also, but I’ve come to understand that in nature, if you will, there really isn’t anything such as a negative emotion. I mean, we say that ANGER is to negative emotion, but anger has positive and negative sides. Anger also pushes us to take action. So it’s not really negative, it just is an emotion. Now, emotions can become negative, which they do when we hold onto them. Like, if I’m angry with you and I vow I’m not going to tell you cause I don’t want to hurt you, or I don’t want to reveal how I’m feeling, or something like that, I will hold that anger inside of me. And anger in particular is our most active emotions. So it does this more than any other emotion. All emotions held inside of us grow. So by the time I hold onto it, then it starts festering. It’s like yeast in a bowl. It just starts growing and it’s always trying to find a way out, which is why we explode with anger. Usually, it’s because we’ve tried not to be angry. And then we sit on the anger, the anger grows and it’s constantly seeking a way out. Pretty soon it finds a little hole and out it comes.

Arlene Gale: Boom. Yup. So emotions then you’re saying are neither good nor bad?

Ilene Dillon: Yes, they’re not good, they’re not bad. Love is one we would normally call a positive emotion, but love has a negative side to. Many people have had the experience of somebody professing to love them when they don’t want to be loved by that person. They don’t want to have anything to do with them. It can turn into something like stalking if you’re not careful, right? So, there’s no negative and there is no positive in emotions. We can have them become negative when we sit on them and they grow and fester inside of us. But really anger, it has positive and negative. Love is positive and negative. Emotions just are, they’re just bits of energy that are trying their darndest to give us a message, which they do by the way. 24/7, 365 days a year from the moment we’re born until we die.

Arlene Gale: So, if emotions are so cotton pick and complicated, why do we have them? Why do we need them?

Ilene Dillon: Well, I don’t believe they’re complicated. Now, you know, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and I think what has complicated emotions for us is that we’ve been taught incorrect ways of working with them. So we try to do something and it doesn’t work. Like, for example, count to 10. So I hold the anger inside of me. Nobody tells me when I’m holding the anger inside, it’s growing, right? And so, it builds up pressure, and after a while I say: “Well, I just couldn’t stop myself. I just exploded.” And what do I do after I explode? Oh, I feel so terrible. I’m not going to do that again. And I start talking anger away again. So we have trouble with emotions and they seem difficult to us because we don’t know how to work with them. We’ve been told things that are just totally the wrong direction to go. We need to keep emotions MOVING. We need to let them go through us. We need to read their message and follow what they’re suggesting for us with our lives. When we do that, it’s like we go into a smooth running stream, and believe me, I’m telling you from the position of a formerly VERY ANGRY PERSON to a person who now has emotions streaming, and very seldom do I even feel the slightest bit of anger. I also don’t do worry, I don’t do guilt, I don’t do fear. You know, you start working with one, and you start understanding how emotions work and they just all ease out.

Arlene Gale: Then if the emotions just ease out, how come, or what would be an explanation for why we are experiencing the same emotion over, and over, and over, and over, and over again?

Ilene Dillon: Well, in general, Arlene, the reason is because the universe, or God, or our higher self, or some deep part of us, whatever we want to call it, is desperately trying to teach us something. Remember that emotions come with experience, and what you’re talking about is we have a repeating experience. Why does an experience repeat? It’s like, when you’re in school, the lesson repeats and you even have to stay back and repeat a grade if you don’t learn what’s being taught, right? So the real message is to turn around and say, what do I need to learn from this? What is this attempting to teach me? And ask for help. We don’t get help unless we ask for it. But if you ask for help, you will get it. And here’s what happens, when a lesson comes up, when something you need to learn and comes up, you may say, Oh, I’m too busy. I can’t stand it. That’s too scary. I’m not going to learn it right now. The universe doesn’t say, Oh, well Arlene, you better learn this now or I’m going to beat you up, it doesn’t do that. The lesson seems to disappear, but it circles around and it comes back again, and the next time it comes back, it has a harsher consequence connected to it. And if you turn it down a second time, no, I’m still not ready to learn, it’s too scary. It goes out again and circles around and comes back with a harsher consequence. You follow?

Arlene Gale: I do. Yeah, you’re reading my mail to other people. Yes.

Ilene Dillon: Well, so it’s a harsher consequence because the universe is kind of like tapping you on the shoulder going, Arlene, you’re going to get this, and after awhile it’s pounding you on the shoulder. Are you going to get this? Because we are not going to quit until you get this lesson, right? Well, we all are. We’re either afraid or we’re stubborn. And so the good news is however, the MINUTE you learn the lesson, that experience is finished. I mean, it’s within seconds, and that is really motivating, you know, if you understand you’re in school and you’re being presented with a lesson, and the sooner you learn the lesson, the easier your life is going to be. Aren’t you going to want to turn around and say, what can I learn here? At least that’s where it’s taken me and with great reward, I might say.

Arlene Gale: Well, you are an expert and I think there’s such wisdom there. I just wish I’d met you, you know, a hundred years ago.

Ilene Dillon: I wish I had met me then too.

Arlene Gale: We’re going to take a quick break and get back to the wisdom of Ilene Dillon, the emotional pro and recovered angry person. And when we come back from the break, I’d like for you to pick one emotion that you hear that comes up for people a lot. And let’s dissect that and see where it goes. We will be right back with Ilene Dillon.

So welcome back to Mindset Meets Mastery with Arlene Gale, and today with Ilene Dillon, the emotional pro. And we’re going to talk, I’m going to kind of put you on the spot here and ask you, what is an emotion that you think is most misunderstood, or most talked about that maybe we could, you know, kind of dissect a little bit about, why we misunderstand it, and why we don’t move past it. What would you like to talk about?

Ilene Dillon: Well, I think there are two that are most ubiquitous. They’re fear and anger, and as a recovered angry person, I certainly know anger the very best, so let’s talk about anger. So one of the things that has fascinated me about anger, you know, I was a single parent for 20 years, and I was essentially abandoned when my daughter was 10 months old unexpectedly because we had agreed to have her, my ex husband and I, and it’s unplugged, all that anger that had been stored up inside of me, and it began to flood out over my daughter. So, I was desperate to find out what causes anger? Why is it so powerful? Is it possible to get on top of it at all? Can you get rid of anger? You know, what can you do about it? I was just desperate, and I couldn’t find any information. That was back in the early 70’s, there was no information. And even now, we don’t have an agreed upon understanding, which is why I wrote book, “Emotions in Motion” because I wanted to share what has worked so well for me and my clients as well. So the universal cause of anger is that we have what I call SHOULD inside of us. And it’s like that story about the kindergarten, or you know, you should stand in line, you should take your turn, you should not take the last cookie. We get these ideas of how things are supposed to work in the world, and they go in very early in our lives. We learn our relationship with emotions in the first seven years of life. So they go in very early, and also pick them up from other people, and they go in the form of SHOULD. You should always give me a hug when I see you first. You should never touch me when I see you, you see? You should not, or you should. Drivers should not cut me off on the freeway. And so, we have these should and should not. And when they get violated, we get angry. That’s the universal cause, period.

Arlene Gale: Okay. So when you’re talking about anger, where shame and guilt, are they part of anger? Or they’re own emotions? Cause I hear a lot of that in the world. People who are ashamed for something that they did or that was done to them, and then from there they move into guilt.

Ilene Dillon: Well, shame definitely. And guilt, predominantly are what I have learned to call synthetic emotions. They’re manmade. They’re not really emotions.

Arlene Gale: Really?

Ilene Dillon: The difference between a real emotion and synthetic emotion is that real emotions, like we said before, have positive and negative aspects to them. Tell me the positive aspect of shame.

Arlene Gale: Absolutely none, but it can be all encompassing for some people.

Ilene Dillon: Yes, because we come to believe in it, but it’s not even real, which is what helped me to drop it. I was very shame filled, but it helped me to drop it. I’m going, why am I agonizing when it’s not even a real emotion. Now, we can pick it up from parents, shame filled parents pass it on to kids, you know? Now, guilt on the other hand is also largely synthetic. We have ministers, coaches, parents, advertising system, all telling us about what we should feel guilty about, right? In my book, I talk about that old commercial where Housewives were to feel guilty about not being good homemakers because they had ring around the collar, because they’re watched correctly, you know?

Arlene Gale: Yeah.

Ilene Dillon: But guilt also is a form of anger. It’s anger that you feel like you don’t have a right to have. For example, you’re out driving and a dog runs in front of you, and you have to make a split second decision of either kill the dog or hurt yourself, right? And you decided to kill the dog. Because it’s not okay to feel ANGRY at that dog, for most of us, you’re going to feel guilty about killing the dog instead. And the thing about guilt, which is true shame too, is very, very difficult to just get rid of it, to not have it, to not have it run your life anymore because you have to drop it. And it’s really hard to drop guilt or shame, right? So, what I’ve found is that if you translate it into anger, it’s usually, guilt comes up when you’re in a bind, where are you going to lose no matter what happens. You’ll lose by hurting yourself, you’re going to lose by hurting the dog, if you translate it into that anger, you know I’m angry that I was put in a position where I had to choose between the dog’s life or mine, you know? Then the guilt drops away.

Arlene Gale: Well, and I find, and this is true for me, the shame that then also manifest guilt because of things that happened or were done in my childhood that I tried to take ownership of, but I got to the point where I finally understood that I was a child, I really had no control. What do you say to that?

Ilene Dillon: Well, one of the things I just want to point out is what guilt does is it freezes us in the past, and that’s what you just described. Until you could unfreeze yourself from the past, you’ve created a different perspective for yourself so that you could see, Hey, I don’t have to feel guilty about anything. I was a kid. I couldn’t see all the factors here, you know? But once I learned that guilt, number one was a form of anger, it freezes us into the past. A lot of people think that guilt is a kind of like a conscience, you know? If I feel guilty, I’ll keep myself under control, but it’s not a conscience, and we have an emotion that’s much better for that, which is remorse. Even as a therapist, I didn’t know much about, but remorse comes up, and it’s different than guilt. It doesn’t freeze you, it says, okay, something happened that didn’t work quite so well here and it doesn’t make you feel good. So let’s look at what happened and what you’d like to do next time. And then you can set a course. We’re doing it differently next time and you can move on. That’s what remorse is for. Then you can’t do that very easily with guilt at all.

Arlene Gale: Or shame, right?

Ilene Dillon: Definitely with shame. Now shame, I didn’t say that, shame, actually is a mental declaration to yourself, that there’s something wrong with you, right? When you feel shame, you’re going, Oh, there’s something wrong with me, I did this, I didn’t do that, I was the one who set this up, it’s about something wrong with you. And I had a therapist years ago, cause I was totally shamed billed and didn’t know it, right? I didn’t know what it was. And she told me to take a little three by five cards and put them around on the mirror in the bathroom, on the door that I would go in and out of, in my car. And on those three by five cards I wrote, there is nothing wrong with me. And she told me to read them out loud every time I saw it. Well, what’s interesting is that we run our selves on the basis of belief, which is stored in our subconscious mind. And shame is stored in our subconscious mind. We believe we are full of shame, there’s something wrong with us. And the subconscious mind cannot resist repetition. So as you say, there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s nothing wrong with me, that belief overtakes shame, and shame is free to go.

Arlene Gale: Wow. So there’s the hope that we can, we can retrain our brain. We can retrain the direction of our thinking.

Ilene Dillon: Absolutely. I’m living testament because I was totally shamed filled. You know, I went through a lot of things, I was taken from my birth mother who had neglected me in the first two years of my life, and put into boarding schools when I was three and four, moved from pillar to post in a military family, and you know, it goes on and on. And so, I was full of shame, and I don’t have any now. I love to say I don’t do shame.

Arlene Gale: I don’t do shame. I don’t do guilt. Yep. We don’t do that. But I tell you what you do, do, you have a book. Your book should be coming out tomorrow. It’s called Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System. So let’s talk about emotions as a navigation system, as a place to start with that title and subtitle.

Ilene Dillon: Okay, well, as I said before, I don’t know why we have emotions and I slowly began to understand that, you know, we have these bumps, and challenges, and changes of direction in life. And very often we go, I don’t know what to do here, you know, do I do this? Do I do that? And I slowly began to understand that emotions actually tell you what to do. Fear says, be careful. Loneliness says, take energy. And loves says, come closer. Anger says, you have a picture of what the world is like that isn’t true, and it also, it has two signals. It also says that you need to make change. And so, every emotion is telling you something, and you know, you don’t have to do what the emotions suggest to you. But over the years, I have come to be an absolute DEVOTE because emotions tell me exactly what I needed to do, and the second I do it, everything starts getting better.

Arlene Gale: So tell us, what if, if you could say, what is the number one thing that you want one of your readers to get from your book? What would that be? Regard some emotions.

Ilene Dillon: That emotions are easy, they are a gift, they are lifetime helpers, and all we need to do is turn and embrace them. And in my book, as you know, I list 12 everyday emotions, and what their signal is, and what you need to do in order to work with the signal. And that was one of the big things that I wanted to share with people. It’s really easy once you know what the emotion is telling you.

Arlene Gale: Mind blown because I’ve read the book MANY, MANY TIMES. As a matter of fact, you will learn that I am co-author of the book, but only because I helped to take the brilliance that Ilene put on the page and fine tune it a little bit because there is great wisdom there, and I thought I had dealt with a lot of emotions, and I can tell you there’s great wisdom there. So, I want to put you on the hot seat for a moment. You ready?

Ilene Dillon: Aha.

Arlene Gale: Okay. So, I’m going to ask you three questions that kind of, you know, rapid fire questions and give me your answer, the first thing that comes to you, what in your personal life was a big mindset that hindered you from moving in a positive direction?

Ilene Dillon: That I had been rejected. I got to a point in my life, in my early mid 30’s, where I realized that my entire life consisted of being rejected, getting over being rejected, or getting ready to be rejected. And I discovered that I never had been rejected in the first place.

Arlene Gale: So where did that come from then?

Ilene Dillon: Well, as I said previously, I was not well cared for, and I was moved from pillar to post, and I didn’t have my birth mother after the age of two, never saw her again. So, I think largely, either came from inside of me or from what adults around me were saying, but I translated those experiences to this person didn’t want me. And what I finally came to, this person was really only thinking about themselves and they didn’t push me away, I was just irrelevant.

Arlene Gale: Yeah. There’s a lack of capability, a lack of caring, or whatever.

Ilene Dillon: Yeah. It’s strange to say, that was comforting.

Arlene Gale: Yeah. Well, there’s a lesson in that for me was the other people’s actions or reactions are not about me.

Ilene Dillon: Right.

Arlene Gale: And I don’t have to pick those up and own them, it’s about them.

Ilene Dillon: Right.

Arlene Gale: So, so much for rapid fire, I interjected myself in there, but we will move on to the next question. What is a mindset that you carry with you to this day that helps you the most to move towards mastery in your life?

Ilene Dillon: That everything will work out. That there is a way, that lessons are given to us so that we can learn them. And even if we learn them the last day of our life, we still get them, that still counts, but everything will work out.

Arlene Gale: But the sooner we learn those lessons, the happier we’ll be.

Ilene Dillon: The easier your life is, that’s the key. And yes, you’re happier, but your life is so much easier is you know, I’m now living full time in an RV. I’ve been traveling the country for two and a half years as a semi retired person, you know, and I’m out alone a lot of the time. And I’m staying in the wilderness with my van, by myself, with my little dog, and I’m not afraid, and I have wonderful experiences, and I don’t feel lonely. I mean, it’s just wonderful.

Arlene Gale: And you’ve met some fascinating people out on the road that may be a book that comes up for you soon too.

Ilene Dillon: I should be taking notes, I know.

Arlene Gale: You should. So the third and final hot seat question is, if you had one nugget of mindset/wisdom to share with the listeners that they should take away today, what would it be?

Ilene Dillon: I want people to embrace the notion that they are in a giant school and the earth is the classroom, the teacher is experience, emotions are tools, kind of like, that has been put in your backpack, like your lunch, so that you can be successful in the work here, and therefore, if you accept that, then when something comes up it’s not, Oh, something happened to me or this terrible thing occurred, it’s, Oh, something to learn has come up, and you turn, you embrace it, you learn it and you’re free to move on. You don’t have to keep that repetitive stuff going on that we were talking about earlier. So embrace that you are in school. When something comes up you go, Oh great, let’s kind of like the Buddhist do, get curious. What can I learn here?

Arlene Gale: Absolutely. So we’re going to wrap things up, but I would encourage everybody to go to amazon.com and buy Ilene L. Dillon’s book, Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System. And not only is it full of so much important life changing information, but it’s written in such a way that it’s got little chunks and pieces that you can read. So no matter how busy you are, or where do you travel, or what you’re doing, where you go, you can read this book, you will get through this book. And as an added bonus, not only does Ilene share her wisdom, but she gives you real application to take what you’ve learned in that chapter or that section and apply it to your own life. So, I highly recommend you get this book. It will go on amazon.com for seller, we’re doing a bestselling campaign starting on December 10th, which will be tomorrow, from the time this podcast airs. So Ilene, would you give our listeners a way for them to connect with you, and get more information about you and what you do, or to hire you to speak?

Ilene Dillon: Absolutely. I would love to do that. Ye, I’m really excited. I’ve been doing a lot of podcasts and summits recently, and I’m excited to get back into speaking. I’ve been a professional speaker since 84, emotionalmasteryforlife.com. Spelled out, emotionalmasteryforlife.com is my website, and when you go there as a precursor for buying the book, you can download free chapter and introduction so that you get a flavor of what the book is about, and you can see what the book holds, which I’m excited to share. And you know, there’s a contact page there, you can get a hold of me easily since I’m moving around a lot. You’ll want to go through that, that way of connecting with me.

Arlene Gale: Well, and you’re on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn too, so I encourage people to connect with you on any of those platforms. Facebook, Emotional Mastery Expert. LinkedIn is Ilene Dillon, so connect with her and be a part of the bestseller campaign for this book. And I can’t say enough good stuff about Ilene. She is not only brilliant, but she is a kind soul, and a loving person, a giving person. And that to me is an amazing combination that is rarely found on this earth.

Ilene Dillon: Arlene, let me say something right there.

Arlene Gale: Okay.

Ilene Dillon: I did not have that kind of reputation many years ago, Emotional Mastery has allowed me to do that. That’s what’s in store for your people.

Arlene Gale: There you go. So that’s what’s in store. That’s the end result. That’s the positivity that we want to leave you with. So thank you my friend, co-author, and whatever else, good stuff I can say about you for taking the time out of your busy travels to be here with us today.

Ilene Dillon: Thank you.

Arlene Gale: And I’m going to leave the listeners with this thought. “Do not let the world dictate your story. Be mindful of the stories you tell yourself about what is or is not possible for you. You get to choose to write your own story your own way, every day.”